Hello Working Mothers (or any Mothers),

It is a teacher workday for my daughter’s school, or as I call it, take your daughter to work day. 

When you are a professor, you need to be present for class even when it is personally inconvenient. The show goes on, and you find a way to teach through it.

I try to center myself before every class, push aside life, and find a way to be truly present for my students.

Try centering yourself with a three-year-old following your every move. On these days, my center looks more like the eye of a storm. I often find myself trying to manage what I perceive to be chaos bouncing down the halls as we walk from class to class.

Why are these days filled with fear, guilt, and shame?

I am good at my job. I am a successful professional, a published author, and an award-winning filmmaker. I am an excellent mother.

And yet, I fear these days. I am guilty that I am not home more with her. I am ashamed of my situation, as my work-life balance is on display for all to see.

Where do these feelings come from?

There is a subculture that tells me I am a bad mother for working (or, better yet, wanting to work). Another subculture tells me I need to leave my life at home and work harder than everyone else to prove my worth as a woman.

I may not be able to stop these perceptions or feelings, but what I can control is the voice in my head that fills me with fear, guilt, and shame.

So today, as I take my daughter to work, I’ll be telling myself a new narrative.

It is important that my daughter sees my strength in the classroom, that my students understand I have a life beyond the classroom, and that my colleagues know the realities of this season in my life.

My class will continue with the minor distraction of a three-year-old. Today’s class includes an additional lesson on the importance of work-life balance.

Originally posted November 6, 2018.

This image was created by Midjourney using the following prompt: A little girl is riding a tricycle in the distance down a sidewalk on a college campus. She is about 4. Canon EOS 5D Mark IV, 4k